Why All the Fuss Over Porn?

Many of us remember the hyperbole over the dangers of marijuana.  In the 1936 movie “Reefer Madness” it was argued that marijuana use leads to a whole host of life altering maladies.  Scenes from the movie contended that a toke of a hand rolled “dubby” was the gateway to rape, murder, psychosis, and suicide.  Other examples of how pseudoscience has been used to scare people into engaging in a desired health behavior include ‘this is your brain on drugs’ commercials; mock car crashes; and showing pictures of a smoker’s diseased lungs.

While it may seem intuitive that scare tactics would be a powerful change agent, research has consistently shown that scare tactics have limited effect on behavior change.  There are many explanations for this phenomena but hypocrisy and desensitization may be the most salient.  For instance, legalizing alcohol and nicotine but outlawing marijuana seems hypocritical to a lot of people. Likewise, the daily bombardment by educators, media, and the government of all the things that will kill us has only caused consumers to tune out (desensitize) their warnings.

So it is not surprising that few heed the dangers of cybersex.  My kids and their friends (all twenty somethings) roll their eyes when I give my research informed spiel about all the problems associated with cybersex.  Their typical response is “Show me a death certificate that reads, “cause of death…watching porn.”  Depending on the person, this response may be considered rationalization as when the doctor suggests the patient stop smoking and the patient responds “my dad has been smoking for 30 years and he is in great health” or denial “I’m not hurting anyone”.  It is difficult to refute a defense mechanism whose purpose is to avoid personal responsibility.

I am not some old prudish fuddy-duddy on an evangelical crusade to tar and feather all pornographers.  Nor am I in favor of appointing a porn czar to arrest, fine, or censor all forms of pornography.  Hopefully, we have learned from the failure of the war on drugs and prohibition that these heavy-handed methods do not work.

Scholars debate on a model that will reduce the use of porn but most agree it begins with research based education, better parenting, and proactive programs targeting the reduction of childhood sexual, emotional, and physical abuse.

In subsequent blogs I will elaborate on better parenting and childhood abuse.  I will restrict this commentary to the findings from peer-reviewed articles on the negative effects of porn on marriages.

• High marriage quality was negatively correlated with porn use (Stack, Wasserman, & Kern, 2004).
• An interview of 192 Christian men aged 18-27 found that 100% thought porn was unacceptable, but 45% had used porn in the last 12 months (Nelson, Padilla-Walker, & Carroll, 2016).
• High levels of porn use lead to lower sexual satisfaction for both men and women (Poulsen, Busby, & Galovan, 2013).
• 68% of divorce cases involved one party meeting a new lover over the internet.
• 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.
• 70% of wives of sex addicts could be diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Some researchers have suggested that watching porn can, under the right circumstances, be educational and may spice up a couple’s sex life.  Perhaps.  The problem I have with that logic is most porn objectifies women.  Another problem I have is that porn is fantasy in 3D and has the potential for distorting sexual roles or normalizing behavior that only a minority of couples find pleasurable.  Then there is the potential for some casual porn viewers to become addicted.  In her authoritative book on sex addictions, Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation, therapist and author, Alexandra Katehakis wrote,

“Even those not addicted, standard pornographic themes and images imprint themselves in adults and increasingly in children’s brains in a manner that couples sex with aggressivity, stereotypes by gender and orientation, and instills impossible virtual ideals of beauty and potency.  Thus it [porn] threatens to deform the cultural, as well as the individual experience of sexuality and to favor nonrelational, addictive thoughts about, and behaviors toward, one’s self and others” p. 135.

If you or someone you know are concerned with their cyberporn habits or other sexual acting out behaviors talk to your therapist or preferably a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.  Take the free sex addiction screening assessment.  If you are the partner of suspected sex addict you should take the Partner Sexual Survey a measure of the impact a sex addicts behavior may be affecting you https://www.recoveryzone.com/.